How COVID-19 Can Change Your Family Culture for the Better

by Taylor Walls

We live in uncertain times and a lot of families have had their lives changed by COVID-19, and sadly some families will never be the same after this is all said and done. We have been given a lot more time to be at home—out of work and without being able to go out. For this reason, I want to recommend a way in which we can change our family culture for the best, by becoming a family that worships God. This is the same thing that I have recommended to the families of our church here in Santo Domingo, Ecuador where I serve as a missionary, and several people have told me how it has been a huge blessing for their families, and I hope it can be in yours as well.

What I mean by family culture is the very identity and customs of the family. We can all think of different types of families. There is the sports family, the music family, the art and dance family, the sit around and watch TV or play video games family. What is your family defined by? Why not take this as an opportunity to become the family who does family worship?

As a father and husband, I know for many of us when we hear teaching on family worship we are convicted for a time and start trying to get back into the groove of doing family worship, but so often we fall back into the rut of never doing it. The main excuse is always a lack of time. In the modern world we live in a fast-paced world, and when dad gets home from work he is tired and wants to sit back and rest, the kids are at the table finishing up their homework, the mom is trying to finish up dinner, and then before they know it, it’s time for bed, and they went another day without taking time to worship together. But, God has providentially given us all the time.

Here are five principles to help you make this a vital part of your family culture.

1. Family worship is for every type of family. Family worship is not just for families with little kids. It is not just for families where everyone is converted. It isn’t only the responsibility of the pastor’s or the theologian’s family. It is for families with little kids, for families with single moms and dads, for families that have relatives living with them, and it is for families of empty nesters. Though it may look slightly different depending on the make-up of our family, as parents we have the responsibility to train up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:1-4) and to talk with them of the things of the Lord (Deut 6). And, husbands, if it’s just you and your wife, you still have the responsibility to be the spiritual head who washes your wife in the water of the Word (Eph 5:26).
   
   
2. We need to think long-term. We all love going to the Christian conferences and to the family camps where we can be with other Christians or we can have special times in God’s Word. This time of quarantine may end up being something like that for our families if we take up the practice of daily worshipping God together. However, that spiritual high quickly wears off. So, starting or establishing family worship practices needs to have a long-term perspective. We need to pick a time and study plan that we can maintain. Though we don’t know for sure when it will be, we need to think of how we can establish these practices in our family culture so that when all goes back to “normal” we can still be that family that worships God together every day.
   
   
3. We need to get to know our families. For the father or mother who works outside the home, they should realize that being at home gives them the special opportunity to get to know their children. Or, as husbands we have the special opportunities to get to know our wives. What are their worries and concerns? Do they have a genuine profession of faith? What is their understanding of the Gospel? What are their particular strengths, talents, and gifts? What are their character weaknesses where they need to grow? What is their attention span? Understanding these things will help us to guide our family worship in a way that can be immediately helpful in the lives of the people in our families.
   
   
4. We need to get everyone involved. This responsibility of leading family worship falls on the husband/father. However, we are not trying to make this merely the custom of the father, part of his private culture. The goal is not to make it where the husband/father reads a passage of Scripture and explains it every night for thirty minutes while the kids are on Facebook or rolling their eyes wondering why dad all the sudden started trying to be spiritual. The goal is to change our family culture, though changing the father’s practice is a necessary and crucial step. As husbands, we need to get our wives involved. She can help get kids involved and help you keep their attention. One way that can be helpful is that if the family decides for supper to be the time of family worship, the wife can set the husband’s Bible by his place at the table.

At this point consistency is key. If this is going to be part of our family culture, it has to be something that everyone knows and is involved in. Other helpful ways to get everyone involved are asking questions that the kids can answer on the subject, asking what their prayer concerns are, letting them help read the Bible text if they know how to read. If you choose to study a catechism that has several accompanying Bible verses, then you can let the kids race to see who can get to the Bible verse first. These are just some of the ways in which you can get everyone in your family involved to send the roots deep into the soil of your family culture.

The second aspect is deciding on what you want to study. This choice should be taken in conjunction with the knowledge gained in point 3. Here are some ideas. The default should be reading a book of the Bible (John, 1 John, Genesis, etc.), but there are other valid options as well. For example, our church in Ecuador is studying through An Orthodox Catechism—a Baptist version of the Heidelberg Catechism. Other good catechisms are the Baptist Catechism, the Shorter Catechism, Spurgeon’s Catechism, or the New City Catechism (There’s an app for that!). A catechism is just a teaching tool that uses questions and answers with each question being accompanied with supporting Scriptures. Another great option is reading through your church’s confession of faith. These are helpful documents that serve to summarize a lot of great doctrine in a few words and can serve as a great launching pad for discussing the depths of God’s Word. If your church doesn’t have a confession of faith, I recommend the Second London Baptist Confession of 1689. A final option to consider is reading through a book. Almost any book by the Puritans (Sibbes’ A Bruised Reed, Owen’s Communion with God and Mortification of Sin, are personal favorites), especially modernized versions depending on the age of your kids, the Pilgrim’s Progress (Parts 1 and 2), or biographies (John Paton’s Autobiography; Life and Diary of David Brainerd) are all great options.

5. We need a plan. The final point is pretty obvious, but, if this is going to be an enduring part of our family culture, then we need to develop a plan. Though the husband has the main responsibility in this area, there is wisdom in getting the family’s input—this is connected to point 3. There are lots of different ways that you can do this, but I want to break it down into two parts. First, you need to develop a good order—your own family liturgy. This is my recommendation. First, begin with a short prayer that seeks to mark the entrance into the special and holy time of family worship. Beginning and ending with a prayer will help to serve as bookends that set this time apart as a special and holy time. Second, you should read the assigned material. Third, there should be a time of explanation. This should be in conjunction with other cross-references or the proof texts from the catechism or confession. Fourth, you should get the children involved by asking questions, reviewing, asking them to mention a key point that was mentioned, etc. Fifth, prayer requests should be shared and conclude with a time of family prayer. Parents should be sensitive to their children’s age.

In conclusion, having realized that now because of COVID-19 many people have found themselves with a lot more time on their hands and with their families, I want to encourage you to take this time to change your family culture so you can be family that does family worship. I hope that it will become so much a part of your family that when kids go back to school and dad goes back to work, the practice can continue. Having seen these principles, I hope that you are not only convicted and encouraged but that you see that God has given you a great opportunity where you have more time to be with your family. We no longer have that as an excuse. And, I hope that I have given you some tools that will help you overcome the excuse of not knowing where to start. May it become a strange thing for you to go a single day without doing family worship. Join me and the families here in Santo Domingo, Ecuador as we seek to use the time in quarantine to change our family culture for the better so that we can be families that pray, read God’s Word, and worship God together every day.

Other Family Worship Resources:

Taylor serves as a missionary of GBC to Latin America and holds a position on the board of Confessional Baptist Seminary of Cuba. He is a Graduate of GBTS, a M.Div student at Reformed Baptist Seminary and a graduate of the University of Central Arkansas with a degree in linguistics. He has lectured on Old Testament, New Testament, Greek Grammar, and Baptist History in ministerial training programs throughout Latin America.